My Immortal
by shimokara
Summary: Amber dwells on her past, while feelings between her and Gambit start to rise. AmberGambit hintage. Songfic


**My Immortal**

Amber sat in her new room alone. It had been just a few weeks since she had joined the X-Men. She knew about her powers and she was frightened by them. Her fears seemed more alive in the emptiness of her mind than anything.

She didn't want to focus on the life she had before. Such a cruel life for anyone to go through especially as a child. Amber soon found herself on the bed, her knees against her chest with her arms wrapped around them.

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my childish fears**

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**Because your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

It had been sixteen years ago when she was born into her neglectful family. Sixteen long and frightening years that she had to go through. It wasn't because of her powers, no, no one knew of that yet, neither did she. It was because of her eyes. Since the day she was born she had black eyes. Piercing black eyes that frightened even her own mother.

It caused her to be alone her entire life. She was picked on by everyone in her school. She was bullied and even shunned upon by her teachers. Amber did well in school, but because of who she was she was looked down upon like a sin in the world.

It wasn't until she turned fifteen, when her whole life changed. When she found out who or what she really was.

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

It was raining when she walked home. Her mom, as much as she didn't like the woman, sent her out to do groceries and she listened. It wasn't long before dark came over the small town she was in and yet the rain didn't cease.

Amber had walked by an alleyway when she had a sudden sense of danger. Before she could react she was grabbed and forcefully pulled into the dark alleyway. Lips were pressed against hers as she struggled to get free.

Amber reached for something, anything that could get away from the man who was trying to rape her. That's when she felt something in her hand. She didn't pick it up, it appeared there, and not too long after she used it to successfully kill the man.

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away your fears**

**And I've held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have all of me**

Although the death of the man was an accident, she still ran. Whatever she held was now gone as she ran for her life. She wasn't about to go home, no she would only get yelled at because the groceries were ruined. Her mom or dad wouldn't care about the fact that she was almost raped. Her health didn't matter to them at all. She could die and they would still wouldn't care because their precious daughter never existed. For all they know their daughter died at birth.

Amber shook herself back to reality. It wasn't good to dwell on the past, her grandmother always said. Her grandmother, Amber remembered her. She was the only one that understood Amber. She was the only one that loved her like a daughter. Made her feel like she belonged there, that she deserved to live.

Amber remembered when her and her grandmother watched the stars as a young kid. She was only five then, but it meant everything to her. A shooting star seemed to pass by over head and just as it appeared it disappeared.

**You used to captivate me**

**By your resonating light**

**But now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice it chase away all the sanity in me**

"Amber. Make a wish."

Amber looked at her grandmother and nodded. She closed her eyes and made a wish.

"I wish to be different." Amber remembered that wish so clearly, the only wish she ever made that actually happened.

Although she didn't mind being the way she was. The man that tried to rape her and his dead body just staring at her still lingered in her mind.

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

And then there was Gambit. The perverted Cajun that seemed to think that he could walk right into her life the second they met. He was a strange person, but she couldn't help but like him a little.

He was attractive and funny and his accent was to die for, but just his very manner. The way he would hang all over her and kissed her roughly just brought all those memories back.

He always seemed odd, but there was a certain attraction in him that she liked, but she couldn't figure what it was. She figured he knew she liked him because she always seemed to stutter around him.

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I've held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have all of me**

Her shaky voice always got him smiling even when she damned herself for it. His laugh was warm and loving and he seemed to know how to treat a girl, but still he was too forceful.

Everything she did and everywhere she went he was there smile and flirting with her. She had little time to herself because of him, until he forced himself on her.

He wasn't trying to rape her, but she knew his intentions all to well. He wanted her, but she didn't want him. Not like that anyway. She kicked him in the stomach and ran away. She ran to Lloyd, who was like an older brother to her.

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**And though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

Lloyd had been protective of her ever since. He treated her like family, just like her grandmother and she liked that feeling. The thought of being able to have someone there who was like family made her smile. She couldn't remember the last time she saw her grandmother alive, nor did she drift upon that dreadful day.

Lloyd kept by her ever since what happened between her and Gambit. He kept his own best friend away from her until the tension was resolved. Until everything went back to the way it was before.

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I've held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have all of me**

When Amber started talking to Gambit she told him what had happened to her. She told him why she did what she did and for the first time he held her and she felt herself melt away in his arms.

Ever since then Gambit had been there to support her. He helped her train and every now and then he kissed her. For a while she felt like she found a guy she could really like. A guy, who was different, like her. For the first time she belonged somewhere and for the first time she was happy.

But how long will that last?


End file.
